1. Let me let you in on a secret of the cosmos.

The world is actually upside down. If you want to live well, you have to learn to discern the underlying logic behind everyone’s behavior. For instance, when you go to a company for an interview or a business deal — the boss with “Carrying Things with Great Virtue” (a sign claiming moral integrity) hanging on the wall is usually more immoral than anyone else.

The boss who hangs up “Heaven Rewards the Diligent” is definitely running around in circles every day.

The boss with “Integrity Wins the World” on the wall is more untrustworthy than anyone.

The boss who displays “The Highest Good Is Like Water” is pettier and more narrow-minded than you.

If a boss keeps a Buddha statue, chances are they’ve done so many immoral, conscience-troubling things that they need spiritual cover.

If you see “May Wealth Flow In,” don’t even think — just run. That boss is more broke than you are.

This is exactly what Wang Yangming meant by zhixing heyi (unity of knowledge and action — Wang Yangming’s philosophy): every action, every behavior, is always consistent with a person’s inner understanding. Someone who can’t stop talking about money isn’t necessarily short on cash, but they absolutely love money and care deeply about it.

2. Once you choose someone, treat them with genuine sincerity.

Don’t enter a relationship half-heartedly — it’s a waste of time, and you won’t absorb the other person’s energy either.

If you feel someone isn’t right, just close the door. No hesitation.

This is the fastest way to grow in relationships.

3. Anyone who’s been through the real world knows — society doesn’t distinguish between men and women, only between the strong and the weak.

Some women who look like delicate, fragile little rabbits have hearts as hard as stone, while some men with muscular, strapping exteriors have hearts as weak as baby chicks. So inner strength has nothing to do with appearance, and nothing to do with gender.

I used to resent men too and believed in “girls help girls.” But after being backstabbed by women who loved men and resented women, I realized that how detestable a person is has nothing to do with gender — it’s all about character.

There are good people and bad people among both men and women. Gender shouldn’t be your measuring stick — only value and benefit matter. If someone is useful to you, associate with them. If they’re useless to you, distance yourself.

After being hurt, you have to pull yourself out quickly. Don’t add to your sunk costs — cut it off when it needs to be cut. Masters cut their losses and walk away, owning their wins and losses.

A person has to pay for their own choices and judgment. Just avoid it next time. Nobody’s perfect — don’t wallow in the hurt.

4. Don’t over-interfere in other people’s destiny. And here’s another point.

The other person will develop habitual dependence. Subconsciously, they’ll think, “Someone will always bail me out,” so no matter how big a mess they make, it doesn’t matter. Until they’re truly at the end of their rope, they’ll keep doing whatever they want, following their own whims.

When you don’t feel like you have no way out, you won’t act with real caution.

If you habitually bail someone out, try to persuade them, and exhaust every means to solve their problems, they’ll become habitually dependent, habitually create messes, and then make you clean up after them.

But they won’t be grateful.

They’ll just take it for granted. And the day you stop bailing them out, they’ll resent you for it.

So the best thing you can do is take care of your own body and mind first. Don’t over-interfere in other people’s lives. Everyone has to take responsibility for their own life. If they won’t take responsibility, why should you take it for them?