What Must a Person Go Through to Reach True Awakening? (Part 3)

You lie in bed all day, don’t study, don’t exercise, fantasize about a pie falling from the sky, act timid and meek when facing real-life situations during the day, stay up late at night wallowing in romantic sorrows, and obsess over the most trivial of memories — what makes you think you’re destined for greatness? Those who fully accept their fate and embrace bailan (letting it rot / embracing the slump) are happy. Those who strive relentlessly upward and wrestle with life are also happy. Only those who waver between these two choices, indecisive and weak-willed, are the most pitiful and the most miserable.

To all timid, hesitant young people, I suggest you read and re-read this sentence: “Everyone’s opinions and judgments are temporary; only your own experiences and achievements accompany you for life. Almost all worry and fear stem from your own imagination. Only when you actually go and do it will you discover how happy it makes you.” At the end of each day, recall what happened, who you met, reflect on whether your actions were appropriate, whether you wasted time, and whether you made any progress compared to yesterday.

I really like a phrase: bu po bu li (不破不立 — no destruction, no construction; you must break to build). Some things must be destroyed, must be abandoned, before new life can emerge. Whether it is people who drain you, things that frighten and worry you, or the fragile and sensitive version of yourself — you must break them before you can be reborn. People fear change, and that used to include me. I was afraid of the unknown, afraid of unfamiliar environments, afraid of people I didn’t know, and so I was unwilling to change myself. Only now do I understand: change is precisely what progress means.

Never complain. The mark of a mature person is transforming the grievance of “Why did this happen to me?” into the awakening of “What is this meant to teach me?” When you shift your perspective on the world, you will find: everything is the best possible arrangement.

99% of anxiety comes from wasting time and not doing things properly. The only solution, therefore, is to take action — earnestly finish what you set out to do, conquer your anxiety, conquer those moments when your heart feels hollow, rather than choosing escape. Don’t stand still imagining difficulties; action is always the best way to change your current situation.

Dare to embrace success. I deeply resonate with what Luo Xiang once said: “You fear showing your face in public, fear looking bad or making a fool of yourself, fear becoming an important person, fear taking responsibility — in reality, you fear success. If you fear success, how could you possibly succeed?”

Often, you must learn to go against the grain. Just as others are learning how to read people, you should learn how to make yourself readable to others. When you transform passivity into initiative, you will discover an entirely new world. True wisdom is always counter to human nature, and you can apply this same approach in other areas as well.

“Heartbreak” comes from failing to respect the principle of value exchange. Anger comes from having experienced too little. “Complaining” comes from a poor family environment combined with never having given your all to turn the situation around. That is the essence.

No one will help a person who has no value. You must diligently cultivate yourself. Even if you fall into the deepest valley, you must have chips to exchange with others — this is the law of the strong. Do you know what the highest-level ability is? It is when everyone believes you have only a dead end ahead, and yet you are able to snatch life from the jaws of death, solve every difficulty, and turn the tide. When water reaches a dead end, it becomes a waterfall — a landscape. When a person reaches a dead end, it becomes rebirth.

Adults can only be filtered, not educated. Teaching people, teaching through events — once is enough. Setbacks are like meals: you don’t learn to eat less, but after enough of them, you naturally grow.

Your role is not to keep everyone happy at all times. Don’t feel as though rejecting someone is some kind of unforgivable crime. Your own feelings matter most. Pay more attention to your own feelings, and you will reduce neihao (内耗 — internal friction / self-depletion).

Absolutely do not meddle in others’ affairs or try to change people. Every person’s life environment and trajectory is different. Not meddling, not forcibly interfering in others’ lives, and not imposing your own values is the greatest respect for the rose that is another’s life.

You are not the Buddha; you have no obligation to enlighten all sentient beings. Don’t be someone who loves to play teacher, don’t expose others. Say more “awesome,” “666,” “impressive” — and you’ll neutralize 90% of petty adversaries. Say more “uh-huh uh-huh oh oh oh” — and you’ll filter out 90% of garbage traffic.

Very often, you offend people not because you said the wrong thing, but because you said the right thing.

What makes you feel humiliated is not their low emotional intelligence, but that they look down on you.

People with sharp edges and clear bottom lines — others won’t dare to bully them.

The core of your suffering is your fear of falling out with others. When you have no money, don’t show timidity — keep your back even straighter.

A dog is always a dog; a person is not always a person. In truth, some things are regretted by you alone. Without pili shouduan (霹雳手段 — thunderbolt methods / fierce decisiveness), do not attempt pusa xinchang (菩萨心肠 — bodhisattva-like compassion).

True freedom in life is not the ability to do whatever you want, but the ability to say “no” at any time to whatever you do not want.

Life will bully the timid and the cowardly without restraint.

No one who knows how to make money is a fool — don’t look down on others.

Stay far away from people who contribute neither money nor effort, yet insist on pointing fingers and giving orders.