You lie in bed all day, neither studying nor exercising, fantasizing about windfalls. By day you act timid and spineless; by night you stay up agonizing over romance, endlessly chewing on trivial grievances — given all that, what makes you still think you’re something special?

Those who fully embrace tangping (lying flat / opting out of the rat race), who have made peace with themselves — they are happy. Those who keep striving, who wrestle with fate — they are happy too. It is precisely the person who swings back and forth between these two states, trapped in internal friction and endless doubt, who is the most pitiable and the most miserable. To every young person who hesitates and walks on eggshells, I recommend engraving this line into your memory: “Everyone’s opinions and judgments are temporary. Only your own experiences and achievements will accompany you for life.” The vast majority of things you worry about and fear are nothing but the products of your own imagination. Only when you actually go and do them will you discover that the joy far exceeds what you anticipated. I am deeply fond of one phrase: bu po bu li — “no destruction, no construction.” Certain things must be demolished before new life can emerge. Whether it is a person who drains you, an event that terrifies and unsettles you, or the fragile, hypersensitive version of yourself… you must break through the stalemate to be reborn.

Everyone fears change — I used to be the same. But eventually I understood: change is exactly what signals progress and opportunity. Never complain. A mark of maturity is transforming the resentment of “Why is this happening to me?” into the awakening of “What is this meant to teach me?” When you shift your perspective, you will find that everything is the best arrangement there could be. 99% of anxiety comes from wasted time and failing to genuinely do things. So the only solution is: take action. Doing real work, earnestly, is the most effective way to defeat anxiety. Do not stand in place imagining difficulties — action is always the best route to changing your circumstances. Dare to embrace success. As Luo Xiang put it: “You are afraid of showing your face in public, afraid of looking foolish and losing face, afraid of becoming an important person, afraid of bearing responsibility — in truth, you are simply afraid of success.” If you fear success, how can you possibly succeed? Very often you must learn to go against the grain. For example: while others are busy learning how to read people, what you need to learn is how to let others read you. When passivity becomes initiative, you will open up an entirely new world. True wisdom is often counter to human nature — and the same holds in other areas. “Grief” comes from failing to follow the principle of value exchange; “anger” comes from too little experience; “complaining” comes from a poor family environment combined with not yet having thrown your full strength into breaking free — that is the essence of it. No one will help a person of no value. Even when you hit rock bottom, you must hold something you can trade — that is the law of the strong. What is top-tier ability? It is when everyone is convinced you are dead beyond saving, yet you still manage to turn the tide, to snatch life from the jaws of death.

When water reaches a dead end, it becomes a landscape; when a person reaches a dead end, it becomes a rebirth. Among adults, you can only filter — you cannot educate. People teaching people never works; events teaching people — once is enough. Setbacks are like meals: eat enough of them, and you grow naturally. Your role is not to make everyone happy. Do not treat saying no as if you have committed a grave sin. Your own feelings matter most. Pay more attention to yourself, and you will eliminate much internal friction. Do not meddle in others’ business and do not always try to change people. Everyone’s growth trajectory and life circumstances are different. Refraining from meddling, refraining from imposing, and refraining from rushing to judge — these are the most fundamental forms of respect for another person’s life. You are not the Buddha; you have no mandate to deliver all sentient beings. Do not be a self-appointed mentor, and do not casually expose people. Say “awesome,” “amazing,” “impressive” more often — that alone can neutralize 90% of petty troublemakers. Say “mm-hmm,” “oh, I see” more often — that alone can filter out 90% of noise. Very often, you offend people not because you said something wrong, but because you said something right. The person who deliberately makes you uncomfortable — it is not that they have low emotional intelligence; it is that deep down, they look down on you. Be someone with edges and bottom lines, and others will not dare to bully you. The core of your suffering is that you are afraid to flip the table. The less money you have, the less you can show weakness — your spine must stand even straighter. A dog will always be a dog; a person is not always a person. Some things… in truth, only you are still holding onto the regret. Without a thunderbolt’s force, do not carry a bodhisattva’s heart. True freedom in life is not the ability to do whatever you want, but the ability to say “no” at any moment to what you do not want to do. Life only bullies the timid and the weak. The stronger you become, the fairer the world gets. People who know how to make money — not one of them is a fool. Never casually look down on anyone. Keep your distance from those who contribute neither money nor effort, yet love to point fingers and give orders.